LETZBYONEST #12: 2008 REVIEW: THE GOOD, BAD AND SARKASTIK!!

logoletzb2– Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt were barred from The Hills wrap party at Butter after the taping of the season finale. When the fake fakers who fake your fake lives don’t want you around, you should probably do something genuinely real – like get cancer in the face. Just a thought.

– Heidi & Spencer’s now admittedly fake courthouse wedding was an elaborate ploy to promote their upcoming real wedding. It’s almost like somebody wrote these events down on pieces of paper and provided lines for those involved to say at the appropriate time. I think there’s a word for that: Bullshit.

– Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson are a couple of brawlers. Neighbors heard the two breaking glass and flipping the lesbian fuck out on each other right before Sam went into the hospital this weekend. I’m not pointing any fingers, but me thinks the problem is someone refusing to eat at the Y. That said, who wants to be the one to tell Sam it’s really not on fire? [TMZ]

Samantha Ronson used to bring in $1500 a gig for her DJing skills, but now that she frequents the Fiery V, she’s been pulling in $25 grand a pop netting her almost $3 million this year. NY Daily News reports:

“While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an insider close to the couple told us. “Sam’s now asking for a lot more money to spin, and she’s getting it easily.”

Of course, part of the appeal is watching the two fight with each other which seems to be a guarantee lately considering Sam is looking to cut a record and wants Lindsay to keep her career-killing hands off of it:

At a Miami club last week, Lohan sulked in the corner alone, remarking “Sam is hired to host tonight, not me,” when asked if she was okay.
“They fight every day,” said a friend. “It’s just jealousy and childish bickering over the fact that neither feels the other pays enough attention. While they really do love each other, this relationship will be over by March.”

So, basically, Sam has consistent access to Lindsay’s giant breasts and gets paid $3 million for that luxury? Jesus, I want to be a lesbian. And don’t tell me I can’t because I have a penis when we just spent the past five minutes talking about Sam “Danglely Dong” Ronson. On that note, I want my lesbo handle to be “SharkBalls Cunningham.” That’s Ellen’s name? Forgive me, Godfather!

images-21– DJ AM is done remember he cheated death and wants in on the suing. He’s filed his own lawsuit that also claims the pilots‘ negligence caused the infamous fiery crash that left him and Travis Barker severely burnt. At least the pilots will have a chance to defend themselves. Oh wait… [E! Online]

– Heath Ledger’s death was your favorite. At least according to the list of top entertainment stories from the Associated Press. The actor’s tragic death beat out Britney Spear’s double meltdowns which were way down at #4. I’ve got a hunch 2009 will be Britney’s year once she realizes flamethrowers are the new braless.

LETZ BYONEST, CAN WE??

Heidi and Spencer are effin idiots, period. I cant believe people can become famous for being retardz. That is what America has come to.  Truly itis. I dont wish death to anyone, but if they jumped of a cliff… Moving on, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ron….?? Im into it. I think it’s they bizness and although i live the code “itz not ok.”… for thoze two, IT’Z SUPER OK. I mean Im a lesbian in guys skin, they call me MANDYKE.. FIGHT IT OUT LEZBOZ…

On the other hand, anytime, u can make $23,500 more per show, (becuz of who your girlfriend iz) take that shit. Eat her vagina until your tongue falls off Samantha.

As for Dj AM and T. Barker. Truly, Im happy as shit those dudez are okay. I remember when Aaliyah passed away and that was effin crazy. I’m sure u guys remember that as well. Shout outz to AM, Travis and their familiez. Glad u foolz are doing aiight. SUE THOZE FUCKERZ… Also i wanna shout out my main mutha fucker DJ EDSKI.. Just becuz hez my main mutha fucka DK EDSKI…

images-41Heath Ledger. Where do i begin? I cant believe the dude from 10 thingz I Hate About You is dead. I still reminisce of you kissing Julia Stiles after you gave her the guitar, brotha.. Deep Shit. You are like the 2009 version of River Phoenix. So many people looked up to you and still continue to. Great work leavez artifacts. You left amazing work behind for us all to remember you by, Heath. Thanks for the great timez and GOD BLESS you and your beautiful daugter. Real shit..

ANONYMOUZ

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