81st ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS: “OSCARS” the GROUCH!!

AND THE WINNER IS….. another B.O.R.I.N.G. CEREMONY….

academy_award_poster

WELL PEOPLES. I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START WHEN IT COMES TO THIS ACADEMY AWARDS SHIT. I FELL ASLEEP SO MANY TIMES ITS RIDICULOUS.

FAMOUS ACTORS AND ACTRESSES. GORGEOUS DRESSES RENTED AND/OR BORROWED FOR THE EVENING. HUGH JACKMAN HOSTING WHILE DELIVERING A WONDERFUL SHOW. I GUESS IT’S YOUR TYPICAL ACADEMY AWARD MADNESS.

oscars

THIS YEARS’ ACADEMY AWARDS SEEMED TO BE A SUCCESS. BORING AS SHIT, BUT A SUCCESS. JENNIFER ANISTON CROSSING PATHS WITH BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA. BILL MAHER PLUGGING HIS PERSONAL DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR. NOTHING TOO EXTRAVAGANT TO WRITE ABOUT, BUT I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I DID LEARN WHILE WATCHING THE 81ST ACADEMY AWARDS….

  • I HAVE NO SEEN ENOUGH MOVIES THIS YEAR AT ALL. THERE WERE 5 MOVIES UP FOR BEST PICTURE AND IVE SEEN ZERO OF THEM
  • THE ACADEMY AWARDS IS A BORING ASS CEREMONY
  • THEY HAVE WAY TOO MANY BULLSHIT MUSICAL ESCAPADES
  • ALICIA KEYS IS NOT ATTRACTIVE. SHE’S JUST NOT. B.U.S.T.E.D.
  • NICOLE KIDMAN IS STILL PALE AND KATE WINSLET IS HOT DUDE

meryl-streep_lJUST A FEW THINGS I PICKED UP ON TONIGHT. MERYL STREEP HAS BEEN NOMINATED FIFTEEN FREAKIN TIMES FOR AN AWARD. WHAT THE SHIT? HUGH JACKMAN LINKED MERYL TO THE CURRENT STEROID BUZZ. A WOMAN WHO RECEIVES FIFTEEN NOMINATIONS HAS TO BE ON ENHANCEMENTS. HAS TO BE. THE MOVIES THAT RECEIVED THE MOST ACCOLADES….

  • CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON-BRAD PITT
  • THE DARK KNIGHT-HELL YEAH HEATH LEDGER
  • SLUMDOG VILLLAGE-MOVIE OF THE YEAR
  • MILK-CONGRATULATIONS SEAN PENN
  • THE READER-CONGRATULATIONS KATE WINSLET

ALL IN ALL, IT WAS A PRETTY STANDARD AWARDS CEREMONY. IF I WASNT A WRITER OF CELEBRITY NEWZ, I WOULDN’T HAVE WATCHED PAST THE FIRST 20 MINUTES. SINCE THIS HAS BECOME MY JOB THOUGH…. LONG LIVE THE ACADEMY AWARDS… B.O.R.I.N.G.

ANONYMOUZ (OSCARS the GROUCH)

PS. DID I MENTION I NEED TO SEE MORE FUCKIN MOVIES. IM WAAAAY OUT OF THE MOVIE LOOP…

Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Actor: Sean Penn, Milk
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

PSS. I COULD MENTION A MILLION THINGS I NOTICED LAST NIGHT, BUT I WAS SO EFFIN BORED TAKIN NOTES I DECIDED.. FUCK IT. EQUAL RIGHTS TO THE “GAYS.” NO PROMO PRODUCTIONS..

academy-awards

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: