MY name iz B.YONEST and…. I banged MEGAN FOX!! CHAPTER I


Yes, it’s true America. I am the “Brian” on Megan Fox’s vagina bone. Indeed, I sleep with her on occasion when I visit Los Angeles, California every winter. You see, I’m a super lyricist, conceptualist, crack head blogger, etc and last August, I met her for the first time. Instant attraction. (I’d have to say for us both.) We (my manager Zak and I) were walking into Villa (home of the dopest DJ, ever.. DJ EDSKI) when we stumbled across Megan and Brian Austin Green. That’s when the fun started.

I purposely slapped Megan (Foxxy Megan’s what i call her) on her ass and she made a giggle sound which told me she liked it. I think she may have thought I was Brian Boston Bean (Austin Green), nonetheless, I smacked her ass. Zak gave me a high five and we kept it movin’…. We slid to the DJ stand and dapped up Edski (like good homies do), turned around and our girls Paris and Nikki Hilton were waiting for us. After Zak tongue kissed Paris and I slid my hand from up Nikki’s skirt, we felt it best to bounce to the bar. Become a “Certified Finger Banger, TODAY.)

My favorite drink in the WORLD is Grey Goose and Cranberry Juice. No, Grey Goose and Orange Juice. Is it Belvedere, Cranberry and a spalsh of O.J.? Damn, I do DO DRUGZ. Anyways, Zak and I took two quick shots of patron, a Jaeger bomb and a glass of Honky Love (Jim Beam) with a dab of Coke on the rocks. Basically, we were (as the white people say) FUUUUUUCKED UP! You can really hear a gang of white people saying that, can’t you… Okay, Okay, Moving On!

I noticed Megan was sitting in the V.I.P area with three white girls (obviously from some neck of the woods in Providence, Rhode Island or some shit), two black dudes (who both looked like the tralier trash brother of the Ying Yang Twins) and two white dudes well, who look like two white dudes. NO Brian Boston Bean. I repeat NO Brian Boston Bean.. (for you idiots, again that’s Brian Austin Green.) My penis immediately sprouted (maybe because Nikki Hilton had run downstairs, found me and was groping my balls) but I knew my ONLY chance to talk to Megan was RIGHT NOW. I calmly removed Nikki’s hand from my ball sac and walked toward the V.I.P tape. Of course, the bouncer wasn’t going to let me just walk by so I had to think fast.

“Slip him a 50 dollar bill. No dummy, slip a roofie in the drink and hand it to him. No, tell him you manage the Ying Yang Twins Cover Band and they’re waiting for you right there. Tell him your Megan’s driver for the night and you wanna….”

TIMEZ UP. I FUCKIN FROZE. WHEN I SAY FROZE, I MEAN, stiff cock, eyes buggin the fuck out of my head cuz I’m three feet from Megan Fox’s Box, FROZE! I probably could’ve pissed down my leg and not noticed it, FROZE.. FIGADEEL ME? I FROZE.. Didn’t say a word, Brian Boston Bean came back and I looked like a fuckin idiot. So that night, I didn’t bang Megan Fox. Instead, I got drunk, danced my ass off to DJ EDSKI and DJIVY sets, puked in the bathroom, took Nikki Hilton to the B.YONEST INVAZION truck and Zak and I banged the Hilton Sisters until 5am.

I REALLY did bang Megan Fox though. Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you about it…


P.S.. this story is completely not dishonest. I am, in fact, “poetically licensed.” #HOLLAWONIMO!

TO READ CHAPTER II (click here)

DISCLAIMER.. “This story is a COMPLETE act to practice my poetic license.” PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUS, TRUE, FALSE or anything else. JUST READ IT AND LAUGH!! — B.YONEST

Picture 11Picture 12


24 Responses to “MY name iz B.YONEST and…. I banged MEGAN FOX!! CHAPTER I”

  1. jentastic Says:

    That was quite descriptive lol!

  2. Mz_FlyHigh Says:

    You’re crazy!



  4. […] MY name iz B.YONEST and…. I banged MEGAN FOX!! CHAPTER I « B … […]

  5. That was the worst writing I’ve ever fucking sat through. If I had to choose between cutting my own trachea out and reading that arrogant production of your undue superiority complex, I would start fucking cutting. And nobody gives two shits about whatever slut you were with that night, so consider at least adding some interesting topicality to this hopelessly terrible piece of work.

  6. thank you for your feedback. FORTUNATELY, people like you are unable to tell when a person is writing for the sake of comedic expression in which MANY have found it just that. Your opinions are always welcome here @ B.YONEST INVAZION. I appreciate you for bringing more attention to my topics of discussion. Great line on the trachea comment. Feel free to slice your trachea to shreds. One less shallow prick I have to worry about visiting my blog.



  7. TearlessPoetRT @BYONEST my name is B.YONEST and…. I banged MEGAN FOX Part I. RE-RELEASE! READ UP.. PART II is COMING SOON.

  8. ebonistephaeIcon_lock@BYONEST I’m still waiting for Part II, Im living vicariously through you my friend!! Hurry it up with the MEGAN FOX story..::bites nails::

  9. ebonistephaeIcon_lockLMAO @Tearlesspoet did you read @BYONEST’s “I BANGED MEGAN FOX”? That shit is HE-LARRY-ASS to me!! LMAO

  10. MomisbuffRT @TearlessPoet: @BYONEST lol hurry up n drop dat shit<<We got a budding erotic writer among us.

  11. 1SmooveCriminalRT @BYONEST @1SmooveCriminal LMAO LMAO!!! u did’t know.. — My homie took down Megan Foxx from transformers!!!!!!!

  12. 1SmooveCriminalRT @BYONEST @1SmooveCriminal LMAO LMAO!!! u did’t know.. — y’all gotta here this story! LOLOL

  13. Darealyoungwise@byonest “froze” LOL..totally “froze”.. I love it.but u don’t stop fucking dreaminbout MY MEGAN. Omg she is stupid sexy

  14. Nice B……..nice 😉 I couldn’t stop reading it, haha!!! ur crazy!

  15. thanks mrs. germany. glad u liked it!! LMAO. u know crazy me!

  16. It’s ok, I found it, haha, yeah man this is funny shit!! Can’t wait til your next rendezvous with The Fox! 🙂

  17. […] my name is B.YONEST… and I BANGED MEGAN FOXX.. (Chapter One Here….) #gallery-1 { margin: auto; } #gallery-1 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-1 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-1 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } […]

  18. […] my name is B.YONEST.. and I BANGED MEGAN FOX (CHAPTER ONE HERE…..) […]

  19. […] my name is B.YONEST and…. I BANGED MEGAN FOX (Chapter One) […]


  21. […] Now let’s talk about Megan Fox.. U know I banged her right. Read MORE HERE! […]

  22. […] For “I Banged Megan Fox” Story, click HERE.. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: