B.YONEST NEWZ… Holiday Season means one thing! MORE fatties..

photoLet’s face it, America. We are not getting any more healthy than last year or the year before. It’s highly disappointing, but it’s the fact. Schools are asking children and/or parents NOT to bring “candy” and garbage as snacks during the Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas season, but they don’t seem to be listening. I took my daughters “Trick-Or-Treating” last night and these photos are the aftermath of 1.5 hours of “Beggars Night” as they call it here in Columbus, Ohio. Beggars Night? Terrible Name!

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kat’s, Jolly Ranchers, Nerds, Starburst and Whoppers (just to name a few) lined my kitchen table to the point we could’ve had “cannon balled” onto the table and not felt a thing. The girls (my daughters) went to school today and had a party. More candy to bring Home. Tomorrow all we do is sit around and watch football and EAT. Thanksgiving is COMING SOON. WHAT are we going to do. Sit around watch football and EAT. I’m just sayin’ Stay aware, people.

This is the time for sluggish high-bernation. Spend money, act lazy, eat constantly and GET FATTER. Sad, but true. I mean this is B.YONEST NEWZ! Take it how you will, but one thing you can’t do is DENY it. If you stay in denial too long, you’re going to find yourself “fat” as can be wondering why you can’t “squeeze” into your tight jeans next Spring. Don’t be mad @ the messenger. I’m here to help.

halloween_is_for_fat_kids_tshirt-p235023342923897469qzj3_400Watch what you eat. More importantly, watch what you allow your hyper active, uncontrollable, Attention Deficit Disorder, Nyur-Nyur, weird acting children to eat. Candy? Sure, it’s the “holiday season.” Enough Candy for their faces to swell and stay awake for 3 days straight? Probably NOT so much. I mean YOUR kids aren’t my kids, BUT when my daughters are super models in 2018 and your kids weigh 2018 lbs in 2018, don’t wonder why. Take it how you will. Good luck, America.



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