B.YONEST “Gossip” NEWZ: Heidi Montag sucks at EVERYTHING

B.YONEST NEWZ..  Do you know how many albums she sold, people???

Okay, I’m not one for passing judgement on people or anything, but lets talk for a second. Can we? Okay, good. Heidi Montag is a f*ckin idiot, people. I know that was a rude way to start an article. but come on.

1. She’s married to Spencer Pratt. He’s the biggest douche since, Brian Boston Bean.

2. She had the audacity to lip sync at The Miss Universe Pageant.

3. This fool claims she had TEN Plastic Surgery installments in one damn day.

4. Again, she’s married to Spencer Pratt. I know it’s repetitious, but WTF?

5. This woman released an album and it sold less than 1,000 copies in the first week according to SoundScan. I DEFINITELY trust SoundScan. 1,000 copies.

I’m an emcee attempting to break into this media stream, but 1,000 copies Heidi. I think my daughter could drop an album right now and sell 1,000 copies. I genuinely believe that. Anyways, I just want “Herpes 1” and “Herpes 2” (thanks Chelsea) to disappear from Planet Earth, forever. Yes, Forever.

ANONYMOUZ

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