Archive for brad pitt

Jennifer Aniston vs. Halle Berry: What is the problem, ladies?

Posted in B.YONEST NEWZ, GOSSIP NEWZ with tags , , , , , on May 3, 2010 by invazion

B.YONEST “Gossip” NEWZ: I mean B.YONEST. What is it about them?

When you think of Halle Berry what comes to mind? You visualize the perfect caramel skin. You see her amazing scene in “Swordfish” and “Monsters Ball” where she’s showing her breasts and having a sexual partaking with “Billy Bob.” No that’s not what you see. Well, that’s just me then. Either way, you see a gorgeous fixture of a woman, a movie star with Awards “up the arse.” What is Halle missing? Let’s talk Jennifer, now.

Jennifer Aniston; One of the most famous women in movies and television. She’s in the “Running Hollywood” section of Los Angeles, California. She gets paid an extensively disgusting amount of dinero to make a movie. Every time she’s on the front cover of a Magazine, they sell like four billion more copies than normal. It’s crazy. She’s gorgeous. The older she gets the younger she looks. Perfection, but she’s missing the same thing Halle’s missing. A MAN.

It blows my mind, people. Neither one of them can keep a man for longer than a couple/few years. Maybe they get bored and want a new man, but it seems that they are the dumpee.. Not the dumper. Halle had baseball players, singers, actors and all in between. After six attempts, she’s in her mid 40’s, gorgeous as ever and walking the beach with her daughter. Does she have too much power thus making her intimidating to men? Does her fame demand too much attention from other men making her “men” insecure.. OR is Halle Berry CRAZY? She is a black girl from Cleveland. I’m just sayin. Anything is possible, right?

Jennifer has to be NUTZO as GUSTO too, huh? That woman has been through John Mayer, Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt’s cousin (just a joke for comedic purposes) and a few more white dudes on the Hollywood Scene. Why can’t she keep a man? Again, it has to be pretty tough to walk hand in hand with Jennifer Aniston, right? Hell to the NAW. You don’t pay for sh*t. You get you “red carpet” on @ Award Shows you aren’t even invited to. What’s wrong with being her man. I’d do it. I’d let my manager do it, fuck it. I can’t figure out why Jennifer Aniston and Halle Berry can’t keep a man, but Nicole Ritchey and Ashlee Simpson can. Let’s talk about it.

ANONYMOUZ

81st ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS: “OSCARS” the GROUCH!!

Posted in B.YONEST with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by invazion

AND THE WINNER IS….. another B.O.R.I.N.G. CEREMONY….

academy_award_poster

WELL PEOPLES. I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START WHEN IT COMES TO THIS ACADEMY AWARDS SHIT. I FELL ASLEEP SO MANY TIMES ITS RIDICULOUS.

FAMOUS ACTORS AND ACTRESSES. GORGEOUS DRESSES RENTED AND/OR BORROWED FOR THE EVENING. HUGH JACKMAN HOSTING WHILE DELIVERING A WONDERFUL SHOW. I GUESS IT’S YOUR TYPICAL ACADEMY AWARD MADNESS.

oscars

THIS YEARS’ ACADEMY AWARDS SEEMED TO BE A SUCCESS. BORING AS SHIT, BUT A SUCCESS. JENNIFER ANISTON CROSSING PATHS WITH BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA. BILL MAHER PLUGGING HIS PERSONAL DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR. NOTHING TOO EXTRAVAGANT TO WRITE ABOUT, BUT I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I DID LEARN WHILE WATCHING THE 81ST ACADEMY AWARDS….

  • I HAVE NO SEEN ENOUGH MOVIES THIS YEAR AT ALL. THERE WERE 5 MOVIES UP FOR BEST PICTURE AND IVE SEEN ZERO OF THEM
  • THE ACADEMY AWARDS IS A BORING ASS CEREMONY
  • THEY HAVE WAY TOO MANY BULLSHIT MUSICAL ESCAPADES
  • ALICIA KEYS IS NOT ATTRACTIVE. SHE’S JUST NOT. B.U.S.T.E.D.
  • NICOLE KIDMAN IS STILL PALE AND KATE WINSLET IS HOT DUDE

meryl-streep_lJUST A FEW THINGS I PICKED UP ON TONIGHT. MERYL STREEP HAS BEEN NOMINATED FIFTEEN FREAKIN TIMES FOR AN AWARD. WHAT THE SHIT? HUGH JACKMAN LINKED MERYL TO THE CURRENT STEROID BUZZ. A WOMAN WHO RECEIVES FIFTEEN NOMINATIONS HAS TO BE ON ENHANCEMENTS. HAS TO BE. THE MOVIES THAT RECEIVED THE MOST ACCOLADES….

  • CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON-BRAD PITT
  • THE DARK KNIGHT-HELL YEAH HEATH LEDGER
  • SLUMDOG VILLLAGE-MOVIE OF THE YEAR
  • MILK-CONGRATULATIONS SEAN PENN
  • THE READER-CONGRATULATIONS KATE WINSLET

ALL IN ALL, IT WAS A PRETTY STANDARD AWARDS CEREMONY. IF I WASNT A WRITER OF CELEBRITY NEWZ, I WOULDN’T HAVE WATCHED PAST THE FIRST 20 MINUTES. SINCE THIS HAS BECOME MY JOB THOUGH…. LONG LIVE THE ACADEMY AWARDS… B.O.R.I.N.G.

ANONYMOUZ (OSCARS the GROUCH)

PS. DID I MENTION I NEED TO SEE MORE FUCKIN MOVIES. IM WAAAAY OUT OF THE MOVIE LOOP…

Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Actor: Sean Penn, Milk
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

PSS. I COULD MENTION A MILLION THINGS I NOTICED LAST NIGHT, BUT I WAS SO EFFIN BORED TAKIN NOTES I DECIDED.. FUCK IT. EQUAL RIGHTS TO THE “GAYS.” NO PROMO PRODUCTIONS..

academy-awards