If you had the opportunity to sit down and discuss life with anyone in the world, who would it be? Celebrity, parent, teacher, relative, US Congressman, etc? Who would it be? What kind of questions would u ask them? Where would you meet and what would you do? These are questions we all have from time to time, I presume. Unless I have waaaay too much free time on my hands (which from the looks of things I do). I often ask myself what would I say to Jay-Z, Eminem and such when I meet them. Then I realize, that’s not who I’d sit down with. I’d sit down with Harold Edgar Penn, my biological father.
See, my parents split at a very early age for me. I went and lived with pops for a minute and then he pretty much bounced out of my life forever. What’s funny is 20 years later, I’m still not over it and I see it effecting relationships I hold dear to my heart now. I would ask pops why he left. What pressures did he feel he couldn’t fulfill. Maybe that would explain some things for me as a person. How do you just give up on your Children, I’d ask him. What he (and other people) doesn’t understand is the effect (him leaving) has on my brother and myself.
There is an extreme trust issue for people. Not just me, but other children, adolescents and adults who are experiencing or have experienced such feelings and emotions. Having someone walk away from you scars you for life. There’s no recovery. You just learn to “deal” with it. You develop a humongous wall to protect yourself from the pain and anguish of feeling like that EVER again. You block the people away (who love you the most) because you wonder when they are going to leave you too. It’s terrible, but true.
The point of this blog today is to spread awareness to parents, children and those in the middle. Everyone needs to know the effects of growing up “alone.” Growing up with one parent can be a great thing. My father was a racist man so I’m probably better without him. For some reason, we still would like to have the ability to kick them out of our lives ourselves. Maybe my father knew he was doing me a service by leaving. I may never know the answer to that question. Sadly, that’s what STILL bothers me the most 20 years later. Love u Pops.
Sidenote: I hope my blog articles give people a better perspective of the way I and my teammates see life. We try so hard to bring you the open, honest truth from all facets of life. Life can’t always be about Celebrity Gossip and naked photos. Every now and again, we need to discuss and be part of positivity and development. I hope this helps.