Archive for spencer

B.YONEST “Gossip” NEWZ: Heidi Montag sucks at EVERYTHING

Posted in B.YONEST "Gossip" NEWZ, B.YONEST NEWZ with tags , , , on January 21, 2010 by invazion

B.YONEST NEWZ..  Do you know how many albums she sold, people???

Okay, I’m not one for passing judgement on people or anything, but lets talk for a second. Can we? Okay, good. Heidi Montag is a f*ckin idiot, people. I know that was a rude way to start an article. but come on.

1. She’s married to Spencer Pratt. He’s the biggest douche since, Brian Boston Bean.

2. She had the audacity to lip sync at The Miss Universe Pageant.

3. This fool claims she had TEN Plastic Surgery installments in one damn day.

4. Again, she’s married to Spencer Pratt. I know it’s repetitious, but WTF?

5. This woman released an album and it sold less than 1,000 copies in the first week according to SoundScan. I DEFINITELY trust SoundScan. 1,000 copies.

I’m an emcee attempting to break into this media stream, but 1,000 copies Heidi. I think my daughter could drop an album right now and sell 1,000 copies. I genuinely believe that. Anyways, I just want “Herpes 1” and “Herpes 2” (thanks Chelsea) to disappear from Planet Earth, forever. Yes, Forever.

ANONYMOUZ

B.YONEST “Gossip” NEWZ: Heidi Montag’s Plastic Surgery

Posted in B.YONEST, B.YONEST "Celebrity" NEWZ with tags , , , , on January 14, 2010 by invazion

B.YONEST NEWZ.. She looks like a freakin werewolf. Come on, GIRL…

Heidi Montag and her retarded husband/boyfriend/annoying sidekick, Spencer, are in the news AGAIN. No, the sextape isn’t out quite yet, but Heidi DID get ten plastic surgeries in one day. Yes, I said TEN. Her photo on the cover of People is below. I could rant and rave about these two annoying individuals, but that would prolong me from doing something important.. Long Live Herpes 1 and Herpes 2. Right, Chelsea?

1. mini brow lift
2. botox
3. nose job revision
4. fat injections in the cheeks
5. chin reduction
6. neck liposcution
7. ears pinned back
8. breast augmentation revision
9. liposuction on waist, hips, thighs
10. buttock augmentation

ANONYMOUZ

B.YONEST NEWZ: Heidi Montag nude in Playboy? I DONT THINK SO!

Posted in B.YONEST NEWZ with tags , , , , , on August 11, 2009 by invazion

The highly anticipated Playboy Issue featuring Heidi Montag, fake celebrity of The Hills, is due for release this Friday. Yes, Playboy is know for it’s nudity of Celebrities, Stars and beautiful women, but number ONE… Heidi is none of these things and number TWO… I don’t believe she will be nude in the magazine. We’ll soon see. I will admit. The cover is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. GEE WILLIKERZ!!!!

ANONYMOUZ..

MORE B.YONEST NEWS HERE.. (GREAT MEGAN FOX ARTICLE..)

PS. I RECANT MY STATEMENT. SHE’S HOT.. SHE’S REALLY, REALLY HOT.. MORE 2 COME!!

B.YONEST NEWZ: DAMN HEIDI IS AN UGLY BITCH

Posted in B.YONEST NEWZ with tags , , , , , , on June 8, 2009 by invazion

0606_heidi_montag_tortured_00

I’M NOT TRYING TO BE A RUDE INDIVIDUAL, BUT ONCE YOU TAKE THE MAKE UP OFF SOME OF THESE PEOPLE, THEY ARE SOME UGLY MU FUCKAZ. HENCE, HEIDI MONTAG, famous ONLY for her fake ass show “The Hills”, IS ONE UGLY INDIVIDUAL. I’M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE A HATER, I PROMISE.. THAT IS JUST AN UGLY BITCH MAN.

IT AMAZES ME. THESE PEOPLE HAVE STYLISTS, FASHION DESIGNERS, ENDORSEENTS GALORE AND A BUNCH of OTHER MADNESS TO KEEP THEM LOOKING SEXY. YOU TAKE THAT SHIT OFF AND THROW THE HOES IN THE FOREST AND THE ABOVE PICTURE IS WHAT YOU GET. DAMN, SPENCER. ALL HAIL!!

ANONYMOUZ

XXCLUSIVE, XXCLUSIVE: B.YONEST BREAKDOWN!? WELL, JUST READ IT!!

Posted in B.YONEST with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 5, 2009 by invazion

blogowhiteI wish I could sit here and tell you I have some exciting news to let you in on. I wish I was sitting @ my computer ready to tell you how amazing of a week this has been, celebrity wise. I wish I had dirt on the “WHOOPI GOLDBERG featuring LIONEL RITCHIE” sextape (fuckin yuck) but I honestly don’t. (album here)

No one gives a shit about Heidi and Spencers’ wack asses begging to be back ON “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.” I reckon the fact that the Lakers beat the living day lights out of the Orlando Magic last night is worth blogging, but unless you live in Orlando and/or Los Angeles, you (like myself) probably don’t give a tif! Wouldn’t you have rather the Finals been LeBron vs Kobe? No, not the Lakers vs. the Cavaliers. LeBron vs. Kobe. Anyways……. (g rated blog here)

Gas is higher and so is the cost of weed. So now it costs me more to smoke trees if I so desire. Why, cuz of the gas I gotta put in the car to get to my weed man’s house, dummy! What else? Man, oh man. It’s damn near summer in Columbus Ohio and it’s still 55 degrees. That’s effin amazing, right. Especially considering the fact I’ve been in Miami, Phoenix, Las Vegas and Los Angeles in the last four months.. Does it sound like I’m bitching a litle bit? Oh, well let’s talk about the good stuff then, fuckers. (letzbyonest website here.)

Everyone is healthy. Homies are havin’ babies and gettin married everywhere around me. Zak and I have so much freakin’ content for you foolz we don’t even know what to do with it ourselves. I’m gettin ready to get ready to hit the road again. Mentally, anyway! It’s a tough task, but we have the potential, drive and fundamentals to get ‘er done. I love Los Angeles, California. GEEEEESH!

Not too much to rant about right this second. I felt it was the weekend and I needed to give some love, hate and down right YONESTy to the world. This has actually inticed me to begin a weekly “Friday Follow-Up” of all the shit that happened in the week. That way, you can read up, study up and stay tuned into what’s crackin on a weekly basis (in case you cant check the B.L.O.G. every second of the day.) ALL HAIL!

ANONYMOUZ

LETZBYONEST #12: 2008 REVIEW: THE GOOD, BAD AND SARKASTIK!!

Posted in B.YONEST, LETZBYONEST with tags , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by invazion

logoletzb2– Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt were barred from The Hills wrap party at Butter after the taping of the season finale. When the fake fakers who fake your fake lives don’t want you around, you should probably do something genuinely real – like get cancer in the face. Just a thought.

– Heidi & Spencer’s now admittedly fake courthouse wedding was an elaborate ploy to promote their upcoming real wedding. It’s almost like somebody wrote these events down on pieces of paper and provided lines for those involved to say at the appropriate time. I think there’s a word for that: Bullshit.

– Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson are a couple of brawlers. Neighbors heard the two breaking glass and flipping the lesbian fuck out on each other right before Sam went into the hospital this weekend. I’m not pointing any fingers, but me thinks the problem is someone refusing to eat at the Y. That said, who wants to be the one to tell Sam it’s really not on fire? [TMZ]

Samantha Ronson used to bring in $1500 a gig for her DJing skills, but now that she frequents the Fiery V, she’s been pulling in $25 grand a pop netting her almost $3 million this year. NY Daily News reports:

“While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an insider close to the couple told us. “Sam’s now asking for a lot more money to spin, and she’s getting it easily.”

Of course, part of the appeal is watching the two fight with each other which seems to be a guarantee lately considering Sam is looking to cut a record and wants Lindsay to keep her career-killing hands off of it:

At a Miami club last week, Lohan sulked in the corner alone, remarking “Sam is hired to host tonight, not me,” when asked if she was okay.
“They fight every day,” said a friend. “It’s just jealousy and childish bickering over the fact that neither feels the other pays enough attention. While they really do love each other, this relationship will be over by March.”

So, basically, Sam has consistent access to Lindsay’s giant breasts and gets paid $3 million for that luxury? Jesus, I want to be a lesbian. And don’t tell me I can’t because I have a penis when we just spent the past five minutes talking about Sam “Danglely Dong” Ronson. On that note, I want my lesbo handle to be “SharkBalls Cunningham.” That’s Ellen’s name? Forgive me, Godfather!

images-21– DJ AM is done remember he cheated death and wants in on the suing. He’s filed his own lawsuit that also claims the pilots‘ negligence caused the infamous fiery crash that left him and Travis Barker severely burnt. At least the pilots will have a chance to defend themselves. Oh wait… [E! Online]

– Heath Ledger’s death was your favorite. At least according to the list of top entertainment stories from the Associated Press. The actor’s tragic death beat out Britney Spear’s double meltdowns which were way down at #4. I’ve got a hunch 2009 will be Britney’s year once she realizes flamethrowers are the new braless.

LETZ BYONEST, CAN WE??

Heidi and Spencer are effin idiots, period. I cant believe people can become famous for being retardz. That is what America has come to.  Truly itis. I dont wish death to anyone, but if they jumped of a cliff… Moving on, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ron….?? Im into it. I think it’s they bizness and although i live the code “itz not ok.”… for thoze two, IT’Z SUPER OK. I mean Im a lesbian in guys skin, they call me MANDYKE.. FIGHT IT OUT LEZBOZ…

On the other hand, anytime, u can make $23,500 more per show, (becuz of who your girlfriend iz) take that shit. Eat her vagina until your tongue falls off Samantha.

As for Dj AM and T. Barker. Truly, Im happy as shit those dudez are okay. I remember when Aaliyah passed away and that was effin crazy. I’m sure u guys remember that as well. Shout outz to AM, Travis and their familiez. Glad u foolz are doing aiight. SUE THOZE FUCKERZ… Also i wanna shout out my main mutha fucker DJ EDSKI.. Just becuz hez my main mutha fucka DK EDSKI…

images-41Heath Ledger. Where do i begin? I cant believe the dude from 10 thingz I Hate About You is dead. I still reminisce of you kissing Julia Stiles after you gave her the guitar, brotha.. Deep Shit. You are like the 2009 version of River Phoenix. So many people looked up to you and still continue to. Great work leavez artifacts. You left amazing work behind for us all to remember you by, Heath. Thanks for the great timez and GOD BLESS you and your beautiful daugter. Real shit..

ANONYMOUZ