Archive for spring break
After a barrage of requests and questions pertaining to the rest of the SPRINGBREAK episodes? We decided to put a few more up… over the next few weeks we will continue the postings…COMEDY for the people by the people!
Zak and I just blasted a 6 month internship on the road as most of you know. We met incredible people and experienced more shiz in that time period than most of you will see in a lifetime. NO disrespect. We won, we lost and learned a great deal of madness about the world we live in. One thing we learned is we need help.. It’s a crazy illusion out here. Record labelz aren’t just “signing” people anymore and it is a DEFINITE “DO IT YOURSELF” kinda bizness. Thus, WE NEED HELP.
Ideaz?? What you got? We hit the road. We created 200 remixes last year. We started a facebook, myspace, twitter, datpiff, ohiohiphop, wordpress and every other “internet” medium we could possibly think of. We put a stage on top of our truck, drove around and spit in every major city, excluding NYC. We finished an album and put up THREE websites for people to visit, join and add input on ANYTHING. Check em out! WE NEED HELP!
- WWW.BYONESTMUZIK.COM (the site all about B.YONEST)
- WWW.LETZBYONEST.COM (the myspace of the hip game. thanks karate chris)
- WWW.BYONESTINVAZION.COM (the updated blog on all the shiz we do.)
Financially, we need some assistance. Its no deep dark secret. The industry costs a great deal of money to continue and prosper at the same level(s) of “industry competitiion. (for lack of better term.) For assistance, The Silence Iz Broken (my album available on byonestmuzik.com) costs about 5 thousand dollars to complete. Pharrell Williams and Polow Da Don charge up to 500,000 dollars for a beat. My album costs one percent of a beat charge for an Industry Producer. THUS, WE NEED HELP!!!
Imagine what the hell B.YONEST could do with a freakin’ 1 million dollar album budget?
THIS IS A WAAAY BETTER OPPORTUNITY THAN THE STOCK MARKET OR ANY BANK YOU COULD PUT YOUR MONEY IN. I’M JUST SAYIN.. HAHAHA!!
Most of you have heard the music by now and know “someone” with some extra cheddar. If you believe B.YONEST is nicer than most emcees you hear, ask around for me. Find some dough for us and keep a portion for yourself!
Industry Connections. WE NEED HELP! Zak and I go hard and we exhaust ourselves thinking of people we know who know people in the “INDUSTRY.” You know someone? WE NEED HELP! We are only two people, but i’m sure some of you know some people who know some people we dont know. Feel me? This opportunity for us all is truly one phone call away. As soon as we get a sit down meeting with a person (who can make a decision) and they hear me spit, IT’S A WRAP. Not conceited, it’s just the T-RUTH (pronounced tee-ruth). An email, phone number, title, A&R, website, blog or anything CREDIBLE you can think of and hand over…. We appreciate it because WE NEED HELP.. Im clownin!
Showz…for profit! WE NEED HELP! Performing for free is ridiculous. Would you give your best effort on your “job” for free? Probably NOT. Thus, if anyone needs an opening act, party performer, background noize, etc, for profit, let us know. We will t-ravel (pronounced tee-ravel) a pretty far way (i think we’ve proven) for a good time with great people. You guys hear anything. let us know! Why? Well because WE NEED HELP! A booking agent would be cool too!
Lastly, Support! WE NEED HELP! It’s very easy to get caught up in the lives we live. All a person truly needs sometimes is a little empathy. Just to know they are doing the right things, they aren’t as bad as everyone says and to keep movin’ Support is crucial for anyone especially a fool who challenges the waves of normality and takes a giant leap of “faith” that it’s gonna all be aiight!! So for Zak and myself if you cant give ideas, money, industry connections or show info.. JUST THROW US A LITTLE POSITIVE “CHI.” thanks and we’ll be in touch!
Day 6 -Panama City Beach
TRUTH BE TOLD…
THE LAST 6 MONTHS OF MY LIFE HAVE BEEN.. WELL, FUCKIN CRAZY. UPS, DOWNS, LEFTS, RIGHTS, RIGHTS AND WRONGS. (by your standards) I’VE SEEN THE WEST COAST, THE MIDWEST, THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE, THE DIRTY SOUTH (i got a whole new respect for them niggaz.. C.R.U.N.K.) and PARTS OF THE EAST COAST. IT WAS A PHENOMENAL EXPERIENCE AND I HOPE I EFFECTED THE LIVES OF 1/2 OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAD AN EFFECT ON MINE.
TO THE PEOPLE WHO STILL AREN’T CONVINCED B.YONEST IS A NICE GUY WITH A HEART OF GOLD AND A BUNCH OF BARS EQUIPPED TO CREATE A BUZZ IN THE “GAME”, U KNOW WHAT TO KISS… I’M NOT GOING TO SABOTAGE THE NAMES OF ANY OF YOU ON THIS BLOG ENTRY BECAUSE… I GUESS, IM KINDA HAPPY… AWWW, B.YONEST IS HAPPY.. MAYBE IN MY 43RD YEAR OF LIFE I’VE LEARNED TO BE NICER TO PEOPLE.. YEAH RIGHT, FUCK U!!!
I’M GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME TO REFLECT ON THE PAST 6 MONTHS+ OF MY LIFE. THE PALAZZO, a hotel in las vegas, WAS AMAZING. SLEEPING IN THE FREEZING COLD TRUCK AT A REST STOP ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN.. NOT SO COOL. I HAVE SO MANY STORIEZ, COMEDY SCETCHEZ (i know im no dave chappelle.. thanx BARVO), FEARFUL STORIEZ, REMINDERZ and oh FUCKIN SONGZ TO REMIND ME OF THE JOURNEY. START TO FINISH ZAK AND I VIDEO TAPED IT ALLLLLLL..
WELL, NOT THE ORGY IN OREGON OR THE RAPE IN RACIDO. I GUESS WE DIDNT VIDEO TAPE THE 4 FAT GIRLS FROM VERMONT WHO SNUCK IN OUR TRUCK AND ATE ALL OUR FOOD WHILE WE WERE HAVING SEX WITH THEIR FOUR HOT FRIENDS IN A HOT TUB IN HOLLYWOOD. AND THAT ONE BITCH (i wont name her name ASHLEY) WHO GOT US ARRESTED FOR SOLICITING PROSTITUTION. I THOUGHT I WAS STILL IN VEGAS.. OOPS.
IN SUMMARY, I HAD A WONDERFUL TRIP. THIS WAS JUST THE BEGINNING THOUGH FUCKERZ. IN THE UPCOMING DAYS, WEEKS AND MONTHS THE B.YONEST INVAZION IS GOING TO GET BETTER. MORE INTRIUGING AND DOWN RIGHT, RUDE LIKE MY NIGGA JoneZ…. STAY TUNED AND THANKS FOR THE HATRED!!!! IT’S WHAT I DO IT FOR…. ALL HAIL.
OKAY, OKAY.. SO U GUYS ARE ABBZOLUTELY RIGHT.. I AM A POMPUS, ARROGANT, CONCEITED DICK HEAD. I CUSS TOO MUCH AND I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DONT APPRECIATE ME.. NONETHELESS, WANNA HEAR A FUNY ASS STORY.?? U SURE?? OKAY, HERE WE GO.
IM ON THE BEACH YESTERDAY WITH MY BLACK OHIO STATE FLAG.. THAT’S RIGHT FUCKERS.. SUCK IT AND GO BUXXXX. MOVING ON. ILLINOIS IS ON SPRING BREAK RIGHT NOW AS WELL AND THERE IS A LARGE GROUP OF THEM IN PANAMA CITY. NOT LIKE THE OHIO STATE/OHIO UNIVERSITY GROUP, BUT A GOOD GROUP.. THE OSU CROWD STARTS DOING THE CHANTS WE DO… ALL THE FUCK MICHIGAN AND OH-IO SHIT AND ILLINOIS GETS MAD CUZ WE’RE FUCKIN REPRESENTING. THEY COME STORMIN INTO OUR CROWD WITH THEIR FLAG AND ACTIN LIKE ASS HOLES. IT’S LIKE 20 ON 15 ABOUT TO FIGHT AND WHO BREAKS IT ALL UP.. NO OTHER THAN YOUR BOY B.YONEST.. THAT’S RIGHT.. KEEP THE PEACE PEOPLE.
THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW IT’S ALL PEACEFUL. OSU AND ILLINOIS START CHANTING “BIG 10, BIG 10, ETC.” IT WAS AWESOME. THIS DUDE FROM ILLINOIS TAKES MY FLAG AND STARTS WAVING IT AROUND SCREAMING “BIG 10 IS AWESOME.” HIS FRIEND GETS PISSED AND SAYS “FUCK OHIO STATE..” THIS FOOL (HOLDING MY FLAG) SAYS YOU’RE RIGHT.. “FUCK OHIO STATE” AND THROWS MY FUCKIN FLAG LIKE A JAVELIN… UH OH, THIS IS WHERE THE STORY TAKES A SLIGHTLY VIOLENT TURN……
B.YONEST DOESNT TAKE LIGHTLY TO PEOPLE TOUCHING HIS SHIT.. B.YONEST DOESNT CONDONE DRUNK ASS HOLE BEHAVIOR. I THROW THIS FUCKER TO THE GROUND SO HARD. HE GETS UP AND I’M READY TO BOX THIS FAG.. I DONT KNOW THE LEGALITIES IN THE STATE OF FLO RIDA (flowrida…) SO I DONT WANNA HIT HIM FIRST. I PUSH HIM AROUND A LITTLE BIT, NOTHING TO BIG AND HIS BOY RUNS HIM OFF..
THE ILLINOIS CROWD COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDS WHERE IM COMING FROM, GIVEN THIS FUCK FACE JUST THREW MY SHIT 20 YARDS LIKE A DIRTY TOWEL AND SHIT. I CANT FIND THIS PIECE OF SHIT, BUT I TELL HIS BOYS.. “HE’S GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO ME OR HE’S GONNA GET WAAAAAAAY FUCKED UP TODAY.” 10 MINUTES LATER, I FIND THIS PRICK AND RUN UP IN HIS FUCKIN GRILL.
“YOU HAVE 3 SECONDS TO APOLOGIZE TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT OR IM GOING TO RUIN YOUR SPRING BREAK VACATION IN FRONT OF ALLLLL OF YOUR ILLINI PEOPLE.”
“DUDE, I DIDN’T DO SHIT,” BLAH BLAH BLAH.. ALL THAT DRUNK WHITE PERSON SHIT A MU FUCKA DOES TO “NOT” RECEIVE AN ASS KICKIN..
HE GETS CHOKED OUT AGAIN.. AND I’M SO READY TO FUCK THIS DUDE UP IT’S AMAZING.. AGAIN, I DONT KNOW THE LEGALITIES HERE SO I DONT WANT TO HIT HIM……. FIRST!!! I’M SPITTIN ON HIM, HEAD BUTTIN’ HIM. ANYTHING I CAN DO TO PROVOKE HIM TO DO SOMETHIN.. HE DOESNT WANT IT WITH B DOT, OBVIOUSLY. AFTER ABOUT 2 MINS OF THIS STUPID SHIT HE FINALLY SAYS..
“THANKS THAT’S ALL I WANTED.” THE PIECE OF RETARDED SHIT FLIPS ME OFF BEHIND MY BACK…….OKAY, OKAY.. NOW YOU’VE THROWN MY FLAG, LIED TO MY FACE AND FLIPPED ME OFF “BEHIND MY BACK” YOU GAY ASS COWARD ASS BITCH. I RUN UP ON THIS NIGGA AND BODY/CHOKE SLAM HIS ASS INTO THE SAND SO HARD.. FACE COVERED IN SAND. SAND IN HIS NOSE, SAND IN HIS EYES, SAND IN HIS MOUTH AND SHIT.. THE OHIO STATE CROWD GOES FUCKIN BALLISTIC.
“OHHHHHHHH, OH MY GOD.. OSU, OSU, OSU.” THEY START SCREAMIN. EVEN THE ILLINOIS PEOPLE ARE GOING CRAZY NOW.. THEY ARE LOVIN IT..
I ASK THE FAG IF HE REALLY WANTS TO GET EMBARRASSED IN FRONT OF HIS FRIEND AND HE SMARTLY SAYS… AND I QUOTE..
“NO, NOT AT ALL, NO.” SO I LET HIM LIVE ANOTHER DAY AND WENT ON ABOUT MY BUSINESS.
NEEDLESS TO SAY. DO NOT EVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE OF EVERVILLE, FUCK WITH MY IMMEDIATEZ MAN. DONT TOUCH ME. DONT LOOK AT MY NIGGAZ FUNNY. DONT EVER HOLLA AT OUR HOES AND MORE IMPORTANTLY… DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY FLAG, FAG!
PS VIDEO OF THIS IMMACULATE EVENT IS TO COME SOON.. CHECK BACK.. THE SHIT WAS OFFICIALLY “GANGSTERITY.”